Oh say can you see.....

As many of you may or may not know, the US Patriot Act is coming up for renewal in the Senate after passing overwhelmingly in the House of Representatives. While I fully support the Patriot Act and feel it totally necessary to the security of our Nation, I'd like to take the time to point out some little known provisions contained therein.

• Anyone whose last name contains only consonants will be immediately deported to Canada.
• Karl Rove, the author of the Patriot Act and the archetict of the New World Order, is to be known hereafter as the Supreme Being. All, including our figurehead President, are subservient to him.
• Anyone questioning the authority of the Supreme Being will be declared an enemy combatnt.
• Anyone questioning the authority of the New World Order will be declared an enemy combatnt.
• The military will be disbanded leaving the Superfriends responsible for our National Defense.
• Anyone who performs or listens to rap music will be declared an enemy combabant.
• The following individuals, by default, are enemy combatants: Al Franken, John Stewart, Michael Moore, Howard Dean, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mr. Snuffalupogus, Mr. McFeely(for my money the most obscene name ever on childrens' television, or any television for that matter), Gallagher(if he's still alive), and Donald Trump's hair.
• French people are enemy combatants.
• Like the US Constitution, the Patriot Act is a living, breathing document. However unlike the Constitution, The Patriot act is allergic to peanuts and shellfish.
• Do not get the Patriot Act wet.
• Do not feed the Patriot Act after midnight.
• The Patriot is open for criticism, but is very sensitive about it's weight.
• The Patriot Act ain't no Hollaback Girl.
• The Patriot Act won't hold your hand in the mall, but may "drunk dial" you at 2AM.

Peace, Love, Happiness, and militant islam.

On the subject of me

I googled my last name the other day and discovered something rather interesting.

A FUNCHAR is an "inert" function character. It is simply a character that has a name but no particular function.

Apparently its some SGML internet speak, but some may argue that it applies to me as well.

Tolerance

In an earlier entry I told you about Theo Van Gogh, the Dutch film maker that was brutally murdered by a practitioner of the "religion of peace". In a Amsterdam this week, Van Gogh's killer Mohammed Bouyeri told a stunned courtroom, "If I were released and would have the chance to do it again ... I would do exactly the same thing. What moved me to do what I did was purely my faith. ... I was motivated by the law that commands me to cut off the head of anyone who insults Allah and his prophet." He turned to Van Gogh's mother and exclaimed, "I don't feel your pain." Bouyeri faces life imprisonment in the Nov. 2 killing of van Gogh, who was shot, stabbed, and nearly beheaded on an Amsterdam street. A verdict is expected this month.

In Iraq today, US soldiers were handing out candy and toys to a group of Iraqi children in Baghdad's al-Khalij neighborhood when another practitioner of the "religion of peace" happened by. The peaceful, tolerant, freedom fighter drove up, plowing over several of the children, and detonated his car bomb killing 27 and injuring more than 50. Nearly all of the dead and injured were young children.

Evidence is still being gathered in Central London after several practitioners of the "religion of peace" detonated several tightly choreographed explosions on the Underground and one on a bus. The attackers were all allegedly native Britons. Several British politicians have urged restraint and tolerance in wake of the attacks.